Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Offensive Magick.

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We talk a lot of Defensive Magick. You are "defending" your home. You are "protecting it".

I want to talk about Offensive magick. As in YOU have the ball and YOU need to keep it.

This delves a bit into the "blacker" side of things. Definitely more the dark gray over light gray.

Lately, on several fronts I have come under attack. Someone I thought was a very good friend of mine decided I wasn't "smart" enough to work in HR. So she decided I should work as a Cashier. I don't really know what her reasoning's were behind this. I know some mistakes were made. Some of them were mine. I fully admit to that. A great many of them were not made by me, but I was blamed for them. So, she decides I should work in the cafeteria as a stock clerk, and a cashier. Knowing full well how crappy my body is. Knowing I have RA, that I cannot lift things like I used to be able to. You bet your ass I am doing it to the best of my ability. However. I cannot deny that my emotional side has been pretty freaking strong and frankly scary at this point in my life.

Next, I learn that in the apartment complex I live in the Managers husband, is threatening to get us thrown out. He doesn't work there. He doesn't have any power there. He has literally no control over anything. Yet my home is being threatened. This has sent me somewhat into a pretty good panic attack.

So, here goes. I on my guard. I have the "Ball" meaning my house, I have control over how I feel. I am now however going to keep everyone who wants to take from me pay for what they are doing. I will no longer sit back, doing the "fluffy bunny" wait for something to happen to them sort of way. I know my Karmic Debt. I know what I have done wrong, I know what I have done right. I know when I have wronged people and I know when I have made sure I have taken care of what needed to be taken care of so they were taken care of. I have helped people move, I've baked cookies and taken food to people who need it. I've given clothes to people. I know I am a good person.

Yes, I know as well when I have been an absolute bitch. I am prepared for any Karmic Debt that will come back to me. Starting right now though. There will be steps taken to make damned sure those people do not fuck with me, or my family any more.

And yes that does include my family who seems to think we are "less than them"
who are "worthless" to them.

That's right. I am calling them out on this.

They will be getting theirs.


I will post more on the rituals I will be doing and everything along those lines later. For now. This is just me, stating my intentions. 
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Friday, August 9, 2013

The Moon

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For me the moon is both very easy, and very hard to sit down and write about. My journey with the moon began when I was barely 3 weeks old experiencing my first full moon. From that age, I never really slept during the full moon. I was wide awake. However I first started, on my own, paying attention to the moons cycles was when I was about 12. I read Jean M. Auel's book "The Valley of the Horses". When Ayla talked about noticing that her period always came at a certain time of the moon, I started to wonder if mine did. So, I wrote it down. Imagine my disappointment when with my body being the asshole that it is, my periods would sometimes be 5-6 months apart. There was of course the usual "Oh holy shit, what if I am pregnant" that any 12-16 year old would have. Nope. That wasn't the case. In fact I was in all honesty not very likely to have this happen to me. Ever. 

The moon grows, and shrinks. It has cycles that have been proven to affect human bodies, the tides and all sorts of odd things. I have always had a hard time sleeping during the full moon. Conversely during the dark of the moon, it feels like I can barely stay awake. 

During my teens, I became Mormon. This drew me away from any form of Moon worship. After all there is but One God. How can I be interested in the Moon? Bah. By the time I was 19, I discovered again how delighted I was in the moon, the stars and the like. I began my avid study once more. She welcomed me back like a lost child. I would moon bathe, always more comfortable in the light of the moon than the light of the sun. The sun was "too" bright. Too intense for me. The dark of the moon, while I never can really get past a bed during it, is my favorite time of the month however. 

Hecate chose me long ago. Giving me an affinity with dogs. Even Raging Angry Dogs, just curl up like puppies at my feet. Three Way cross roads are always a hint of mystery to me. I, love to take the road less traveled by. I celebrate of course the full moons. Doing small chargings and the like. It is the dark moons that draw me to wanting to do my deeper Magicks. 

However, I easily start new things, struggle with completing them. Esbats for that reason are difficult. The slow acting ones for me are easy though. Hence why I love and adore the Dark Moon Magick. 

The full moon is great for setting the stage for new things, doing magickal healing on "others" not yourself. Conversely the dark of the moon is for more personal things. Like Personal growth, self healing and the like. 

In my tradition there are 13 moons, each have their name. Beginning in January we have the 
Wolf Moon
Storm moon
Chaste moon
Seed moon
Hare Moon
Dyad Moon
Mead Moon
Wyrt Moon
Barley Moon
Blood moon
Snow Moon, 
Oak Moon

There is also a "floating" Moon. The Blue moon. This happens when there are 2 full moons in a calendar month. BLue moons are the Goal moon. Set slow acting goals on this time. Like...graduating from college, buying a new house. Those sort of things. Record progress moon to moon.

Blessed be. 

Fridr
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Wednesday, August 7, 2013

and I have no idea what sort of title to put.

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I suck. I really do. I haven't been able to sit down and do any form of blog post to save my life lately. It's been a pretty Magickal world for me. It really has. Two people have messaged me asking to get together and study. That to me is holy crap exciting. I cannot really explain it all. Me? I'm not that experienced or anything along those lines. I have no real "skills". I am such a hedgewitch it's not even funny. I get energized when it rains, I soak up sunlight like a lizard, yet never can tan.

The thought of casting a circle gives me a heart attack. I'm not comfortable with how I perform Magick in public. Maybe however it is the Goddess telling me I need to. In fact. I had to be bullied by someone into writing this blog post. I just couldn't focus long enough to be able to do this. How utterly daft is that?

I am, again getting very hedgewitchy. None of this fits in with the "letter" for the pagan blog project which is just annoying. This week I believe is P. Ugh?

Anyway. I wrote, I feel better. I might write again later.

I probably will.

Loves Fridr
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Monday, July 22, 2013

Favorite things.

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So, my favorite blogger, Jenny Lawson posted her favorite things. I got to thinking what an absolutely awesome affirmation that would be. Tonight is the first night of the full moon, and so I will begin with this.
After all this is the time for abundance, for joy, for excitement and living! Here are my top twenty  however many I might possibly come up with items that I just love. Most will be Pagan. Others will just be random "oh hell yes " and others will be things I have discovered over the year and fell in love with.
All will fit in with my student budget.

I cannot live without the Hello! brand toothpaste from Walgreens. I just discovered it. The pink grapefruit flavor? AMAZING! The best toothpaste ever
I know, I can't belief a toothpaste made my list either.
but it's all natural!

















Next on my list, honestly is my couch to 5k app. It is Runtastic and I just love it. Amazingly easy to use. Just cannot say enough about it. As of right now I have ran 4 miles, Nope that's not a lot but considering before t his I had not run in 10 years? Heck yes!

Next, purely pagan this is. But a Selenite Pen, it's used for writing inscriptions on candles and the like as well as regularly focusing energy. Most shops have them any where from $8-20. Really cheap, sweet and oh so nice. I just ordered mine. I am so excited! I cannot wait to see how my spells and the like change
Seriously, it's a crystal pen!
I bet you can dip the tip in ink and write with it also.
White Willow Bark. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, I cannot honestly express how my life has changed since I started using White Willow Bark, as opposed to my tylenol 3's exclusively. I still use my t3's because sometimes the pain is just so much that is what I have to do in order to function. However, I am more mobile, I have more energy. Extra bonus? I give it to my Winnie the Weeny when she is in pain also. She is now acting like a puppy again.
Isn't she adorable! That ear always flops over like a dork
Joe Boxer yoga pants. I cannot describe the epicness of these yoga pants. Comfy, absorbent, and they don't get in the way on the treadmill. Freaking love mine Epic Yoga Pants

This is an "I have to have" for work. OMG cause OMG it is a DRAGON stapler!!!
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Saturday, July 20, 2013

wisdom, knowledge and understanding

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Wisdom, Knowledge and Understanding

by Larry Kibby


Great Spirit Grandfather,

I send these words to you,

Hear my prayer.

For these are my words,

To Father Sun,

To Grandmother Moon,

To Mother Earth

To all my relations,

That have been Created as I.

To the Four Winds,

That bring us the

Seasons of Life.

To the East

Where Father Sun rises

Bringing to us a new day

A new meaning of life,

A light in which to see

The path before us.

To the South

Where the warm air comes to us

Bringing heat and warmth,

The seasons of spring

And summer.

To the West

Where Father Sun goes

To bring to us darkness,

So as we may see the universe

And search for the questions

Of our life.

To the North

Where the cold winds come from

Bringing to us the seasons

Of fall and winter.

Oh Great Spirit

Hear my words

For to you I offer

My heart and soul

You made me

What I am

And I am Indian

America's Prisoners of War

I pray for my people of the past

Whose blood covers this our Mother Earth

I pray now as an Indian

Blood of my Ancestors.

Great Spirit Grandfather,

Look down upon

Your people,

For we are humble

Before you.

We seek your guidance,

So that we your people

May walk forever

In a proud manner

Before you.

Great Spirit Grandfather,

You gave your people

The breath of life,

So that we may live

With dignity and pride,

To always know

And understand

That life was meant for us

Your most humble

Traditional people,

And all that

Was Created

And given

The breath of life.

Great Spirit Grandfather,

Let my heart

Soul and mind

Be always strong with

Wisdom, knowledge

And Understanding.

Great Spirit Grandfather

Hear my words

For wisdom

So that I may open

My eyes and

See all that

Is good around me.

Great Spirit Grandfather

Hear my words

For wisdom

So that I may open my ears

And hear all that is good

Around me.

For I am humble

Before you.

I seek the strength

To continue on this path

That I travel on before you

In a most Sacred manner.

Great Spirit Grandfather

Hear my words

For they are words

That come from the

Heart, soul and mind,

And are filled with

Wisdom, knowledge and

Understanding.

Great Spirit Grandfather

My words are for you

To know and understand

That in a most Sacred manner

I honor and respect

The life you have put before me,

I seek the strength

To forever continue

Upon this Sacred path.

Great Spirit Grandfather

Upon the four winds

Are my words for strength

For they come from the

Heart, soul and mind

Words I send to you

In a Sacred manner.

Great Spirit Grandfather

Let all

The wisdom, knowledge and understanding

Be my strength

To continue on this path

That I travel on before you

As a Traditional Native American Indian,

Now and forever.
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Friday, July 19, 2013

So...this is my psych paper

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Application Paper
“Psychologies role in Radiology”



By
{Me}
{Psych 235}
{Human Growth and Development}
07/18/2013



As a radiology technician, I will use the information learned within human growth and development in many different ways. In this essay I will illustrate how I will use Trust vs. Mistrust, Identity vs. Role Confusion, Intimacy vs. Isolation, and Integrity vs. Despair. I will also discuss how Erik Erikson’s 8 stages of human development will be vastly important within my chosen career.
Trust Versus Mistrust, within the radiology profession I will be seeing people on their absolute worst days. They will need to be able to trust that I am capable of performing my job with the upmost professionalism. I will have to, in the 5-10 minutes they are with me be able to give them the safest feeling environment possible. Since, often what I will be working with is people that are injured, that sometimes their lives have fallen apart due to injury, or suspected serious body damage I will have to understand how to understand their body language as well as communicate with my own that I am going to make sure they are taken care of in the absolute best possible way. If they mistrust me in any way shape or form it will mean that their already stressful situation has just jumped to a much higher level, therefore leaving them feeling unsafe.
Identity vs. Role Confusion, Erikson theorized that people made identity changes, and crisis in several different parts of their lives. These transitions I will have to knowhow to speak to that when they see me. People who are going through a midlife crisis, or just having their first baby, all of these are experiencing a psychological change, or shift within their lives will obviously be coming in and needing x-rays, and CT scans. When this happens, I will have to be able to empathize and understand where they are coming from and not make fun of them because they just crashed their motorcycle that they purchased due to realizing they are 44 and will never be a classically trained opera singer.
Intimacy vs. Isolation, one of the strongest reasons people come to work is to have a social outlet. Within the radiology department I will be able to get past my general love of isolation and turn that into having the participation and enjoyment allotted to me within my working environment. Being part of a large organization is a bit frightening for me as I am just plain not a “group” type person. I will have to overcome this by forcing myself to become an integral part of that team. Intimacy is something I myself struggle with, so bringing it into my career seems like such an off thing and out of character for myself that it will be a challenge.
Integrity vs. Despair, as I grow older, and as colleagues grow older we will be faced with the fact that our younger colleagues will have ‘newer’ training than we do. We will have to face that our knowledge, because what we learned during our two year degree’s might be taught in their first years where as we had to go back for additional training as technology advances. As we reach retirement age, we may have people thinking we are obsolete. Whereas our years of experience mean that we know just by looking what someone’s brain looks like and if they might possibly be having cognitive issues and functioning, theirs may not tell them this. It will be a balance between knowing our own intelligence and worth vs. thinking we are old and out dated. I see this being something I will have to face a lot throughout my career.
Erikson’s stages of development will be prevalent in all that I do as a radiology technician. I will have to be aware of trust vs. mistrust, autonomy vs. shame and doubt, initiative vs. guilt, industry vs. inferiority, identity vs. role confusion, intimacy vs. isolation, generatively vs. stagnation, and integrity vs. despair. All of his stages of life will be used within my career, therefore making what I learned in this class useful throughout my career. Obviously, I will use this in my home life as well, making sure that my daughter grows up to be a healthy woman, and my mother ends her life feeling useful and productive. Further this will influence my relationships as I work, and socially. Any future spouse, be that male or female will have the joy of me knowing how to speak to them and for lack of a better term manipulate them. Knowing how the power of suggestion with men will mean the plants get potted correctly will make them want to do more around the house, or with girlfriends being able to talk to them about future plans without making them feel threatened or not loved on the same level. All of this will be used. My daughter will benefit from me knowing how to teach her and explain to her at her own psychological developmental stage.
In conclusion, this class has been a great benefit for me, academically, socially, career wise, and in my home life.  Through the application of the principles learned in this class it will enable me to get out of my own shell, perhaps calm down a little bit when erroneous statements are made around me and help to be able to clearly and succinctly make those around me more comfortable.
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spell writing challenge

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So...

i just posted one of those. "Name a movie without the letter S in it".

So

as a challenge.

Write a magick spell without the letter T in it

here goes

"Lord and Lady
blessed be
for blessings given me
I give grace, my place in life
is from you,
like a knife
i sever the bad
rejoice in  gnarly"
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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Oracle cards.

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I have always been hands down a Tarot card person, I've never really read the runes, I've never liked "spirit" cards or the "medicine" cards. That was until I was told "Oh just play with my oracle cards." Holy goddess was I instantly in love with them. I first started playing with the
Goddess Oracle deck, beautiful stunning colors, amazing definitions. Oh! and they made sense! Spot on, I have never ever read cards that were as accurate as these were. So. I bought myself a deck. Same ones, I bought myself these rocked. I loved them. My boss at work was talking about how she wanted a deck for her birthday so Off I trot to the  Karmic Konnection and purchase another deck. This time the Enchanted Map deck. I gave my boss the choice she could choose the ones she liked the best. That means I got to keep the enchanted map deck.

I absolutely love how accurate they are. What is annoying though is these, where sometimes the tarot deck will sugar coat things, the Oracle cards sort of bitch slap you and say "Listen up punk, you'll either listen do what you need to do, or guess what...you will keep repeating the same mistakes...over..and over..and over again". I love how brutally honest these decks are.

What is further cool about them, is how with Tarot generally each card has the same meaning in each deck, with Oracle cards this is not the case. At all. Each deck has their own ideology and the like. You do have to sort of watch though. For me, a great many decks are very Christian. That makes me very extremely uncomfortable. I would say I wish that they would almost put a warning sign up. "warning, christian ideology abounds" or something.

Within the Enchanted map tarot deck, this is my favorite card. I'm not sure why exactly but it absolutely speaks to me.


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Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Nudity...

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Going skyclad is something that scares the bejebus out of a great many Pagans. Not because we have some belief that it is wrong to be naked, to have sex etc, but because of our own body image. Many of us come from Judea-Christian backgrounds, which means lingering in the back of our heads we do have that "OMG we can't be naked being naked is WRONG" lingering but for many of us it actually boils down to our own body images. We see ourselves naked and go "What God/ess would want to have that naked in front of them." Which frankly is a bit daft. We are the imperfect children of them, why wouldn't they delight in our bodies? So, what does this mean?

It means we need to work on our body image. I am the first to say I have serious issues with my body. I don't even like to bathe naked, let alone do a ritual naked. I'm working on it though. Here's how.

My ritual goes much like this. I stand in front of my mirror, often naked sometimes not, and focus on my body. As negative thoughts come in I arrest them. Stop them in their tracks and make myself focus on something else instead. For example, typically I stare at my face and see my teeth, my bearded chin, my mustache, and go "UGH I am so not the beauteous woman I should be." I stop myself. Frankly I am pretty.
I have to arrest those thoughts, put them in chains and bury them down. Instead I make myself focus on what I love about my face. My lips. They curve in a delightful arch, they are ripe they perhaps don't smile as often as they should but when they do it is stunning. I have been told my lips are extremely kissable. This is what I have to say to myself to retrain my dendrites to produce happy thoughts instead of negativity.

I then focus on my eyes. They are a deep dark brown. Very pretty actually. With sometimes golden flecks and occasionally when the light is right and my mood is perfect they are purple. Amazing.

All this has to be done, so you can "re train" your body to see the beauty in yourself. When you look in the mirror and you see the big belly, instead of that see the stretch marks as "These came from my beautiful daughter, what an amazing gift."

In short, try small rituals out skyclad. Work on not feeling so awkward naked. You are beautiful stunning and amazing just the way you are.


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Sunday, July 7, 2013

Numbers in Magick.

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Apparently I am horribly remiss in my writing as of late. In truth, here goes. Lately things from numbers, to psychology to discovering the joys of Christopher Penzak have attacked my brain. Leaving me apparently with out any ability to write coherently. If in doubt, see my last blog post for an example. I still don't know what's going on there.

So...With that in mind here goes. 

Numbers. I will not say that I am the greatest math nerd ever, however I have been known to geek out on occasion. For those who have read Hitchhikers   you will know that 42 is "the answer". However how many of you actually know how cool the number 42 actually is? 

So, here it goes. 
  • Forty-two is a pronic number and an abundant number; its prime factorization 2 · 3 · 7 makes it the second sphenic number and also the second of the form { 2 · 3 · r }. As with all sphenic numbers of this form, the aliquot sum is abundant by 12. 42 is also the second sphenic number to be bracketed by twin primes30 is also a pronic number and also rests between two primes. 42 has a 14 member aliquot sequence42, 54, 66, 78, 90, 144, 259, 45, 33, 15, 9, 4, 3, 1, 0 and is itself part of the aliquot sequence commencing with the first sphenic number 30. Further, 42 is the 10th member of the 3-aliquot tree.
That was copied exactly from Wikipedia. Okay. So what does all of this mean? Well lets start. 

A sphenic number is something that is the product of 3 prime numbers. 3, as we all know is a magickal number. Therefore making 42 a magic number. It is also divisible by 3. Which means it can be used in rituals. Divide 42 by three and you get? 14. So if for 3 nights you repeat your ritual 14 times (your chat, your spell etc) it should have a pretty powerful effect. (figuring this is a noun, not a verb, unless you are affecting change with your ritual. )

Now, what is an aliquot number? Meh....well I don't understand what that is, so I won't get into that however 42 is a pretty damned cool number.


Numbers are used in magick all the time. We repeat things 9 times, we call 5 corners (including spirit) and we just use numbers. I truly believe that math is magickal. Plus it is very cool when you actually stop and think about it. 
 
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Friday, June 28, 2013

Mugwort, Mercury, Math oh my!

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This weeks pagan blog project is about the letter M. Sponsored by it even! I feel all sesame street ish.

Mugwort. The herb, is a-freaking-mazing. As incense it helps open up to psychic visions, as a tea it can ease swelling and pain..as a burning (think like a sage stick ) it can actually ease pain if burned close to a wound.

Whoa.

Mercury is in retrograde...that's a bit of a bugger. It's causing computers and cells and all sorts to act like utter shits. It is however causing interesting and prophetic dreams WOO

Math...I'll get into this at a later date, but math oh math is very magical
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Friday, June 21, 2013

Lithia....

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Lithia started to me as somewhat of a dark and dreary thing. When it should be full of light I will not lie and say it was as such. It was pretty bleak. Over the past few months when watching what I ate, and how I ate...we've sort of come to the conclusion I am probably gluten intolerant.

Oh....the cakes, the pies, the chimichangas...I shall miss you all.

Or.

Will I?
Oh I realize most of my "convenience" food will go away. IE those frozen burritos I love covered with Stokes Green Chili which for those of you who live east of the Rockie Mountains, I am so sorry for you. Really I am. I don't know how you cope without the wonders of Green Chili. No....I don't mean jalapenos. I mean that scrummy green chili that makes President Obama put in an order for 5 gallons to be shipped, billed to his own credit card from Pueblo Colorado once a month. Yes...it is a new form of crack; and most who live in the west consider it a condiment, much akin to ketchup or fry sauce (for a shout out to you Utah people).

I mean it, if you have never had it, you must.

Okay...so frozen burritos -out

but that means I can make my own...with corn tortillas and the like. This may not be all bad.
While I may have felt like this.....
(artwork done by Blue-fly over on Deviant art)
 It really is not all that bad. I am not facing this eating monster that will deprive me of everything I love. No! I can still eat pasta. Corn pasta to be sure...but I will learn to adapt. Or rice pasta, or...or...or

I am considering this, that Demeter...

The wily Goddess that she is, is demanding that I learn a new way for my health. I asked the Goddess Sekhmet for help with my health not too long ago. I consider this might be the slap in the face, the o'so Gentle Physician that she is, that she is giving me to make me take better care of my body. To get and do what I need to do. After all. This is wildly important isn't it? 

What better time than as the daylight is shrinking...to begin such a journey. If I want my ill health to wane, why not do it during the waning of the year?

Thank you O'Goddess, in all your forms for the light you are showing me. For the Dark you make me face, and for the joy through it all



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Sunday, June 2, 2013

Pufferfish/blowfish as my spirit animal.

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I've often made the comment I don't have a spirit animal, and lately it has sort of really worried me. I don't know why all of a sudden it has been on my mind all the time. Like, every time I meditate every time I cast a spell, or casts a circle....all sorts.

So, I set about to figure this out. After all, everyone has a spirit animal right? That's what all the books tell me.

So...I started reading about them.

1. think back to a time when an animal went out of its way to get your attention. In a way that is typically out of that animals behavior.

Hmm. okay.

2. They come to you in dreams. Well...we all know my dreams are screwed up so lets skip THAT over shall we?



okay...so animals acting strangely.

The first image that slammed into my head, and I mean like the skit where the two x four hits someone and knocks them into the water, was when I was at the Albuquerque aquarium and the puffer fish spent 15 minutes trying to come through the 9 inch glass and make out with me. I mean it was trying *Everything*. I would put my hand up and it would rub itself against my hand as if trying to get pet by my hand.


Hmm...Could it be a puffer fish?

maybe. Wait...these things appear in my dreams from time to time. Never as a main character, but usually in a"Hey so we are in the middle of an inter galactic battle, Oh look...a puffer fish....right back to hunting mammoths"

Yeah I never said my dreams were normal okay?

so..

what does a puffer fish mean as your spirit animal?

Pufferfish/Blowfish/Porcupine Fish's Wisdom Includes:
  • The fatal beauty
  • Defense through inducing fear in ones enemy
  • Transmutation of poison
  • Power to induce death-like state
    • Use of size as a deterrent

What the hell...does that mean? 


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Thursday, May 30, 2013

And so, the world turns.

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As parents we always wish to believe our children are "right" that they don't lie. That the people we send them to are not taking as good of care of them as we would. After all,we are their parents. Wouldn't we do the absolute best in teaching them? Alas for many of us work gets in the way. So we have to send our precious angels to school, to day care, summer camps and all along those lines.

Yesterday, I blogged about someone who refused to let my daughter go to the bathroom. My daughter said she pee'd her pants because of this. It turns out what happened was, my daughter just didn't go to the bathroom. My daughter was lazy enough that she just couldn't be asked to go to the bathroom, so she pee'd her pants. Then lied about it. Therefore getting into a lot more trouble than she would have if she had just gone to the bathroom.

Here is the "rules" for the bathroom in my daughters classroom. You pick up the stick, and go to the bathroom. The stick counts as the hall pass. No need to ask permission. Nothing. You just. Go. To the bathroom. My child, my beloved angel, simply couldn't be asked to do that.

She has repeatedly lied about things that are happening at school, I've been thinking through the year that my daughter was hated by her teacher. I have tried to communicate with the teacher, only to have things scheduled when I am at work. I don't work at a place that I can just leave for things like this. I just can't do that. Anyway.

I wish to apologize, for my post yesterday. I was righteously angry. Never the less, I made a lot of people upset, for my daughter. I wish...seriously, to apologize for this.

My daughter, will also learn that while Karma will come back and bite you in the ass, lying like this will bring far swifter repercussions. IE. No Litha festival for her. She is not getting her Athame, and she will most likely not be going to camp this year.

And, she will be staying in Elementary instead of going to Middle school.


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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Do Teachers hate their students?

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This will not be a hugely Pagan post. Fair warning.

A couple weeks ago, my kid wasn't allowed to go on a school field trip because she didn't turn in homework. I know she did it, I watched her but she forgot it at home. Fair enough. She has to learn personal responsibility. Last thursday she comes home upset because the big field trip to the Denver Zoo, that she has been looking forward to all year, she wouldn't be allowed to go to that either because *I* didn't get the grade check signed and turned in the next day. I didn't get home till 10, my daughter was already asleep I hadn't seen her all day cause well....I work.

So, I wrote a note to the teacher stating "I don't believe this is fair, I am asking you to reconsider. " Rachel now gets to go to the Zoo.

I made a flying visit home last night, in between work, and school everything seemed lovely. When I got home at 9, Rachel is still working on her rough draft for her paper on Polar Bears. After my mom had gone to bed, my daughter came in and said "Mom I need to speak to you"....After the week previous I wasn't sure what the conversation was going to be about.

at 2pm Rachel informs her teacher she has to go to the bathroom, Rachel is not allowed to go, about 5 minutes later Rachel tells her teacher she *really* has to go. About 5 minutes after that, my daughter wets herself in front of her class.

My Precious 5th grader. Who has such a hard time fitting in anyway, who feels that she is "abnormal" anyway. Is now the subject of ridicule. The kids called her "stinky pants" and the like. My precious angel was in tears.

I, on the other hand am livid. That is the start of it. Angry. Boiling to the point I feel that teacher should be fired is the other side of it.

How dare she? how absolute Dare she!

This woman thinks she can make my child the subject of ridicule, teasing, and bullying. Holy Crap.

So, at aprox 7:30 this morning I will be calling the school and having a talk with the principal. Another person who isn't exactly my favorite person. Mainly because her best reasoning for school uniforms is so she can tell the difference between my 5th grader, and a kid in high school. If she needs a UNIFORM to tell the difference? we need to get this woman's eyes checked. Never the less, it took a phone call to the county health board to get rid of the lice that that the school refused to get rid of. It took threatening to call the local TV station over them only talking about the Mexican American holidays. (We live in a primarily spanish area which is awesome rich with culture, but there are also Muslims, Irish, German etc here...if you are going to discuss a quinceanera you had damned well better discuss other cultural festivals).

I will throw in the "I'm a good pagan" part here. In that I didn't follow what my instinct was and send out every curse I knew (and I know a lot my grandmother was a cherokee medicine woman...I know a lot).
It took everything in my power *not* to call the other Pagans I know (alright personally I know 2 IRL)
But wow....I was frankly, Pissed.


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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

How to make a wand. (The irreverent Fridr way)

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You ask the tree (even if the limb has fallen) May I use part of you, to aide me in my magickal workings. Wait for an answer, it will come. Yes or no. If need be use a pendulum to help you with this. 
You find a tree YOU resonate with. If your favorite memory of a tree is you climbing an old cottonwood tree growing up, by gods use that. Or if you love the memories of going to cut down a Yule tree every year, well awesome. Use that. Or if you love gathering acorns to make cute little things with, grab oak. Favorite thing to eat is pancakes with maple syrup? Go for it. Your wand is YOU. Not me, not Silver Ravenwolf, not any one else. This wand is YOU.
Great, so you found a wand. It is magnificent. It has little curves in it and knots and makes it just look awesome and wonderful. Now what? Okay, you peel the bark off. Or not. totally personal choice, (pink can *HURT* though so consider it. Do this in what ever way makes sense. Does it need just lightly sanded off. Great, do that, or does it need a pen knife to peel the bark off...great. Make sure you put on some safety glasses, wood chips in your eye hurts and will make you have a negative connotation with your wand. (NOt something that is desired). 
Now that your wand is 'prepped' and ready to go. You think. What symbols do I want on my wand? Do I even want any? Should I put crystals on it? Well maybe, if you want to. By all means have fun. None. And I repeat none of this is set in stone. This wand is yours. If you want to draw pretty pictures of stick cats on your wand, well...do it. Again, this wand is you. 
after you have decided and wrote it all down on your bos. you begin getting to work. I don't cast circles or anything along those lines. I just get down to work. I may ask a specific god/dess for help. Or...just ask the Universe to make sure I don't burn the crap out of my hand with the hot glue gun, or wood burner. 
I gather up all my supplies, crystals if I am using them, leather, feathers. Ju Ju beans (Nope, makes for sweet work and sometimes that's what is needed). Then settle down to the business of getting to work. 
I first, if i will be wood burning symbols onto my wand, draw them by hand with a pencil. Then, burn them in with the tool (get your tool hot, please...other wise it will take for blinking ever). Then, you hot glue your symbols (or super glue, but I tend to glue my fingers together, so I opt out of super glue.)
Then I lay out my crystals, my polymer clay, what ever I am going to use to make my wand. Then..finish. I oil my wand with Murphy's  oil soap. It brings out an awesome glow to the wood. Then bless it with essential oils. After that, I seal it with some sort of varnish. No point in your hard work going to waste is there?
Yep. pretty simple. 

(this was just written for "the crafty witch" and thought I'd share it here. I'll so some step by step photos soon)
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Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother hood hit me hard today. Happy mothers day everyone.

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I caught my daughter, who is *FAST* on the way to becoming a woman (i'm thinking in days, not months here before she gets Aunty Flo)...watching porn. She's 11...My first thought was 'HOW THE HELLS DID YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS"...then, after the moment of heart attack, I realized that it's natural, it's normal and it's good. She's becoming a woman. Never the less, I have lost several years off my life, as I explained that being a woman, and becoming a woman is scary, your body tells you all sorts of crazy screwed up things, that you are ugly that you don't deserve happiness. Oh and that you want sex....all the damned time.

She opened up to me, about a lot of things. HUGE things...such as when they play house over at the playground she never wants to be the mom, or the kid, or the dad...she wants to be the pet dog. This is not exactly news to me. I am...to be perfectly honest, my girlly does not play with dolls, she played with stuffed animals. She can howl better than most dogs I know. She reminds me so much of Ayla.

So yeah...back to the porn. I still can't figure out how she figured out what it was. It was on youtube so it's not like it was..........big stuff. It was two lesbians kissing. (Yes I am prepared for her to tell me she prefers girls...she laughed and said "No I prefer boys"...we'll see.)

I don't know, really what or where to go from here. As a pagan the last thing I want is for her to think this is nasty and disgusting. I want to figure out how to deal with her, and teach her that she is okay...and normal. WHILE keeping most of this from my mother. Who...while she is sleeping with a married man etc (Yea we aren't the Waltons okay?) Is a major christian, who taught me that sex was dirty and icky and nasty and I needed to not deal with the fact that I wanted to have sex.

So, here we go.

today, mothers day 2013, we have dealt with porn...her looking at other girls and wanting to kiss them (right on I say)....also her preferring to act as an animal, to be in the tree's and hiding in "dens" rather than anything else.

I still don't know what to do...We talked about the bible, (since Mother insists she goes to church) about the powerful women in the bible, such as Ester, Ruth, Mary Magdalene  I sorta started the story of the Holy Grail with her. The divine womanhood, that we...are the bringers of life. While men are needed and necessary to our procreation she doesn't have to have sex with a man if she doesn't want too. We talked about the science of this. It fascinated her to no end.

I was....so proud of her.

I am so proud of her....I'm just not sure I can deal with ...this. Mainly because my baby girl is growing up.

I didn't give her permission to grow up. Whomever did may just deal with my wrath.

Happy mothers day everyone
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Monday, April 29, 2013

Psychic Sundays, and .....other things

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So, I finally got of my proverbial arse and signed up to do Psychic Sundays through the Pueblo Light Connection. Which I think will rock 17 freaking shades of awesomeness. I am so  excited. I just cannot hardly wait. I have so many things I want to make, to sell. I'm not sure at all how I will ever get this stuff done.

Plans:
at least two plaques, with the Wiccan Rede, and the Shadow Witches crede on it.

For those who walk a shadowed path, 
For whatever reason, because it is a path in your soul that calls too you, 
A particular goddess of dark paganism that calls too you or who you are, 
Trust your heart and follow what it speaks, as it will never be wrong. 

We are Witches, We Are Ancients, 
Those that stand out among shadows.Judge and Jury 
And This is our Creed. 

Do not Offend, But Defend 
Give your kin a house if they have no home 
Remember in all forms are we the goddesses children in one way or another 
She is the weaver, the threader and the cutter of Life 
No matter what name she is called, she is the great mother, The All, 
The Source 

Know the Great dance and the Spiral is never ending and your day's 
Walk long, and most often someone will try and break your paths 
But when the wolves tear at your heels, remember only the hardest 
Paths are the paths worth Walking. 

Life will not be without troubles, fights, hardships 
And we are not witches too get nor gain 
For that is but an empty path that leads too greed and the ruin of your soul. 

We are the witches, singers, shamans, dreamers, weavers, healers and 
Warriors of the wild winds, in the storms and in the fury of the storm 
And of Life. Our knowledge is all knowing, yet we continue too learn 
Things everyday, as is our right. 
Treat your kin with as much respect as you wish too be treated and you 
Can not be lead astray. 
Treasure everyday as it were your last, cherishing the beauty of all 
Life and all things. 

Protect this rugged earth mother as best you can. Honor her. Even if 
It is but a Rock, know that it too has its own spirit. Life is 
Everywhere, and magick can be breathed in as its purest essence. 

Know as the Goddesses child, no matter what you call her she is always 
There beside you, inside you and with you. Believe this always and you 
Will never be forsaken, even when there is a lesson too be learnt that
She must teach you, even if that lesson whips you across the face, it
Has purpose and reason. 

Keep your eyes and your ears open, and listen not only with the 
Physical eye, but the astral ones, for their are signs in all things. 
In the wind, the rain, the sky and the deep earth. 

Never look back on your past until you feel you are ready, and remember 
We have a long way too go. 

There is Strength in the Darkness, In Shadows and also in The Light, 
And shadows can not exist without Perfect balance of Light and Dark.
We are the Children of Grey Magick, and its Power is Thine too Wield!

author unknown

5-10 necklaces and the like. I want to make some Chakra charms, I have the stuff to make about 50 pairs of earrings. Looking forward to that, on several different levels. Some of this I can even do at work. Woot. 

I plan on having several altar cloths made, as well as a few other things along those lines. So excited. 

Artwork from Samina found at Deviantart.com. 

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