Anti Bullshit Powder

My friend Dawn at the Karmic Konnection was talking about "anti-bullshit" powder the other day. Those of you who read my blog often (Really THANK YOU) know lately I've had a lot of bullshit happening in my life. An absolute TON of awesome things, like my Phoenix broom coming soon, working on my ritual robe,  my daughter discovering her magical power etc. So with that in mind, I decided I had to do this. I had to make some Anti Bullshit Powder.

my local organic store had eyebright tea bags, so I bought some of those, and tore them up. I already had blood root and black salt from the full moon before new years, and I got to grinding. To me there is something so comforting about the magical act of grinding herbs in a mortar and pestle, the physical grinding of the herbs and roots into a powder, the peace that fills your mind when you meditate on what thoughts and powers you want to put into what ever you are creating.

As I made this, I chanted

"Nemesis, Hectate, Sophia, protect from bullshit that finds me"

that was it, no long rite, no long drawn out spells, just a simple prayer to the Goddess'. I will be putting a small sachet next to my door to block any bullshit from coming into my house as well as taking a sachet with me to work in my bag. I will not let this affect me any longer.

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Assault...

Today, I was assaulted at work. I don't mean someone hit me, or physically touched me. I mean someone the phone (I work at a call center) on the phone told me I should have my boyfriend fuck me till I screamed so I wasn't such a cunt. I was assaulted. That man, Raped me today. Not physically no. I cannot press charges over this, my manager sure won't do anything. Yet I feel just like I did after I was raped. I have that urge to hide under my desk, pull a blanket over myself and scream. I feel the urge to throw up repeatedly until there is nothing left in me.

I feel violated.

My Manager told me to "suck it up".

It is taking every ounce of my will power, not to want to cast a spell, to send energy to this man that will do...horrible things to him. I don't want that kind of karma. Yet...I want to. Oh Goddess do I want this man to feel as I felt today.

I am having serious issues with being, the light...good person I know I am...and the rage filled angry person I feel just teetering on the edge of my mind.

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Ritual clothing.

I am making myself some ritual clothes at the moment. I'm starting with my cloak. This will also be something I wear to work. I'm embroidering Hades and Persephone on it as we speak. They are going to go on a pocket. On each of the gores, and possibly just smattered around in attractive ways, will be the wheel of the year, the 5 elements, various Gods/Goddess. While I'm working on this, I'm thinking about in the Mists of Avalon, when Morgaine made the scabbard that protected Arthur from bleeding. I am wondering, if I can make this something like that.

I can't really make this a HUGELY sacred space, I share my craft area with my mom. That isn't really possible. The most I can do is put up little images of the Gods, and have them present. This is such a wonderful thing. Honestly I can feel the new birth from Persephone. I can feel the comfort of Death with Hades, the going to rest after a long journey.

I will post progress, possibly if I cast any spells or do anything along those lines while I do this process

I am so excited.

I am curious though, what all I will learn doing this. I cannot imaging making something on this scale for another person. Mainly because I'm anticipating about 200 hours on the embroidery machine...maybe less but somewhere in that ball park. Not to mention the time sewing the thing together, finishing the seams, getting a hood to fit on it. Not to mention I have no idea how to bless ritual clothes for someone else.

So much of the spell caster is woven into this, I keep thinking of the spell Niniane wove against Kevin Harper. The one that rebounded upon her, and she ended up committing suicide. What sort of powers, spells, protections would you have to weave on yourself to keep yourself calm? To keep yourself from getting that wrapped up in the ritual?

These are things that are on my mind while I work on my own ritual cloak. I cannot wear this cloak near a fire, it is made from fleece which would melt like no ones business near a fire, I don't have any wool for a wool cloak, but I can't really wear wool to work, *itches* it's okay for small ritual work, but not the big picture for myself.

I'm  curious though, what spells would you weave into ritual clothes, if you could?

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Open letter to my cats

Open Letter to my Cats.

Snickers, Poseidon, and Houdini's shadow,

It is imperative that you not use my pill bottles as soccer balls. If mommy can't find her pills, mommy can't work and mommy can't buy more catnip. While on this subject, Drool does not inspire me to work. Please stop drooling on my good shirts, I only have 2-3 of them k?

Also, you screaming at me at 5:30 am only means you won't be fed until 9. Out of spite, because I'm a bitch. If you don't wake me at 5:30 you will be fed promptly at 6:45. Which seems like the better deal? Oh! and on that subject, the horseradish is why you don't eat my food. Remember, it burns twice as much on the way out. Isn't that right Poseidon?

My nose is attached to my face, that is where my nose belongs. It will not do any good for you to try to bite it off. This is where the whole biting a nose off to spite a face comes in. If I'm too ugly to work IN A CALL CENTER, you don't get any more catnip. See the logic? If you really want to chew on something I have some letters from bill collectors, chew on those.

Oh, and while I'm at it. Just because there are cats outside that are having frollicking sex lives does not mean YOU have to have one as well. It's called being responsible. I am not food stamps, I don't give you more food if you have more kids. (alright I do feed you more if you are pregnant, but that is because I am a lady)

Oh, and thank you so much for being my kittens. Every time you refuse to let me go to the bathroom alone, I know how much I'm loved.

Thank you
Fridr

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Odin

‎"Ever would Ódin
on earth wander
weighed with wisdom
woe foreknowing,
the Lord of lords
and leaguered Gods,
his seed sowing
sire of heroes."
—J.R.R. Tolkien; Völsungakviða En Nýja, Upphaf: 18

I have often thought of Odin, as the Father I would love, the Uncle that would scare me, and the Husband I've craved. The runes I yearn to learn how to read scream out that I need to learn the Norse ways. The Valkyries scream to me. Aching for me to be there, to learn the ways of Valhalla. 

Truthfully, I am far too afraid of death, of living, of most things. Worse, I am dreadfully afraid of appearing foolish before the Gods. At times, I do rituals, positive I am doing them wrong. I feel the power coursing through me. As though the Gods themselves ache for me to perform the rites in their honor, yet...what if I do them wrong? 

Ach...I wish I had the blood of the heroes, the blood of the Gods who could affect great change...alas, I am normal. 

Special in my own ways, but normal non the less

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Spring cleaning for Brigid.

Today is Imbolc. I am I suppose of the old people. I believe that spring cleaning is a rite for Brigid. I am fond of the cleaning of the house. Making it pretty. I've always longed for a cottage that I could white wash on this day. Making it pretty on the outside. While having the inside clean and shining.

As an artist often my house looks like a hurricane has hit it, I affectionately call it Hurricane Fridr. Within 1 arms length I have quilting, embroidery, knitting, hand sewing, and several ritual robes I'm designing. That doesn't even come to start with the cooking that is going on at any point in time in my house.

So, with today being Imbolc, I am longing for a pristine, clean house. One that just sings of organization and delight. I am, as I have mentioned a Capricorn, I have major OCD with that. I love right angles and clean organization. I love the Japanese style with their love of simple things that sing of well made design. Pity I am way not that type person. The artist in me has ADHD and I cannot stay focused long enough to keep myself organized.

so today, my prayer to Brigid,

O' Goddess, Brigid.
Your joy is in the earth, the fields of well planted rows.
The lambs frolick with joy as you bring them to life.
Your people churn, they clean in homage of you.
Please O'Goddess shed your light upon
so our light, our harvests will be sung
in honor of your first planting.

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Patience, it is not my greatest virtue.

One would think, as a Capricorn I would know the value of waiting, of being patient. Of learning the steps I need to be the perfectionist I require it to be. I am a perfectionist. I work very hard to avoid those tenancies. Such as not ripping out row, upon row, of my knitting just because there is a ITTLE bitty mistake in one row that no one would ever notice. With my hand embroidery...not cutting out stitches because they are not perfect.

Not posting my jewelry.

You must get the point by now...right?

So today, I found out the person who I paid $336 to do my taxes, did NOT file them. I freaked out. I was so mad...In ways I couldn't begin to describe. I was in tears, I was sitting kneeling in a ball, with a blanket in the middle of one of the worst panic attacks, I've been in for a long time. This voice came saying "chill, handle it." So...I crawled out of my cave and faced the world. They were not filed because I was due over $500 more than originally thought. The Goddess knew how much I needed this. I have to have another car. The one we have is fine, but trying to balance life, work, and two people is very hard with one car. Believe me, if I could bike to work I would. However the only real route to work is through the OMG scary district. So, biking is not an option. We simply need two cars.

We also need another sewing machine, we have embroidery commissions already sold the second we get the machine, this will balance out a sense of security that I need.

Oh Goddess thank you for your blessings. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

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